Preparing Your Child For A Move
Moving can be a stressful event in the life of a child, You will have an opportunity to grow with your child, and you may even get closer from the experience. Your children will need time and some extra attention to make the move go smoothly. You can do several things to make it go as well as possible.
Consider the following:
? When you are making the decision to move, you can involve them in the process as much as possible. Depending on your reason for moving and the age of your children, the family can make a chart of the pros and cons of moving. Many kids thrive on familiarity and routine, but if they are part of the decision to move, they will take ownership of the process and be on board more quickly.
? Maintain a positive attitude about the move. If the move isn’t by choice, i.e. a job change or for financial reasons, children will pick up on your negative attitude and make an already stressful situation even more so.
? Once you have made the decision to move, it is vital that you prepare your child by talking about it early and often. Give the child as much information about the move as possible. Let them know what to expect and when to expect it. As mentioned earlier, children often thrive on familiarity and routine, so do what you can to help your child understand the move and know what to expect.
? You can also involve the children in the planning for the move as much as possible.This can include involving them in the house hunting process and for the search for a new school and neighborhood. Show them a nearby park and tour their new school if possible. If the move is going to be far away, have someone take pictures of the new house, school, neighborhood, and let the child keep the pictures to look at whenever they want.
When moving day comes…
? Keep explanations simple and clear. Use a story to explain the move.
? When you put a toddler’s toys in boxes, make sure they understand you are not throwing them away.
? Plan on keeping the child’s bedroom furniture as this will provide a sense of familiarity in the new home.
? Avoid making other big changes during the move such as toilet training or going from a crib to a bed. It is important to keep as much familiarity as possible for young children when they are moving.
? For teenage children, you might want to consider allowing the child to finish the school year at their old school before moving on to the new one. You can also tell them that this is preparing them for adult life such as the changes that occur when you go off to college or start your career.
After the move…
There are several things you can do to help quicken the settling in process:
? First, you can get the child’s room in order before you turn your attention to the rest of the house.
? Second, you can try to maintain some of the routines you had at your old home such as dinner and bed times. Also, before your child starts school, you can take them in to meet their teacher and tour their new school and classroom.
? Finally, set realistic expectations for your child. If after 6 weeks or so, your child is still not feeling comfortable in their new setting, a family therapist might provide some helpful suggestions.
